Infancy #4 - Learning to Forgive
Have you ever struggled to forgive someone? Perhaps they slandered you, falsely accused you, abused or harmed you or someone you love – what are we to do?
Forgiveness is a powerful act when we experience it from those around us and from God. But what about when we are the ones called to give forgiveness?
When we have been hurt, grieved, or offended by the words or actions of others, the wounds can run deep. We may take matters to heart, allow relationships to fracture, or at the very least grow distant and guarded. At times, people persist in harmful attitudes and behaviours toward us, refusing to let go of what is abusive or destructive.
Yet the call of Christ is clear: we are to forgive.
When Jesus was asked by His disciples to teach them how to pray, He placed forgiveness at the very centre of that instruction. In Matthew 6:9–14, we are confronted with the sobering reality that our willingness to forgive others directly affects our experience of God’s forgiveness toward us. This is no small matter—especially when the sin committed against us is serious or deeply painful.
So, what are we to do?
As spiritual infants, we are called to adopt a posture of forgiveness. This is a deliberate choice to forgive readily and willingly. Such forgiveness is not dependent on the offender offering a sincere apology or demonstrating heartfelt repentance. Rather, it is grounded in obedience to God’s Word and the clarity with which Scripture calls us to forgive if we are to live in the freedom of God’s forgiveness.
Does this mean we should automatically restore broken relationships or place ourselves back into harmful or abusive situations? Clearly not. Wisdom and discernment are essential. Forgiveness does not require us to re-enter a relationship on the same terms that existed before the sin occurred—especially if there is a real risk of the behaviour being repeated.
Because forgiveness is rooted in obedience to God rather than the repentance of another, reconciliation and restored trust must be approached carefully. As John the Baptist challenged the Pharisees, we are right to look for the fruit of repentance before rebuilding relational closeness (Matthew 3:7–8). Forgiveness is offered freely; trust is rebuilt over time.
For the infant believer, learning to forgive is a foundational lesson. It shapes our hearts, guards our spiritual growth, and anchors us in the grace we ourselves have received from Christ. As we learn to forgive as we have been forgiven, we discover that forgiveness is not a burden we carry, but a freedom we are invited to walk in.
Reflection Questions
Is there someone I am holding at a distance because of hurt or offence?
Have I confused forgiveness with reconciliation, or am I allowing God’s Word to define both rightly?
What would it look like for me to adopt a posture of forgiveness, even if trust must be rebuilt slowly?
How does remembering God’s forgiveness toward me shape my willingness to forgive others?
How would I lead a disciple—gently and wisely—in forgiving someone who has wronged them, while also helping them walk in truth and safety?
A Closing Prayer
Gracious Father,
Thank You for the mercy You have shown me in Christ—a mercy I did not earn and could never deserve. You see the wounds and scars I carry and the pain caused by the words and actions of others. By Your Spirit, help me to forgive as You have forgiven me. Where my heart resists, soften it. Where fear or hurt remains, bring Your healing and wholeness. Teach me to walk in obedience and wisdom, offering forgiveness freely while entrusting justice and restoration to You. I ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Call to Action
This week, ask the Lord to reveal any unforgiveness you may be carrying—whether obvious or hidden. Choose, in prayer, to forgive those who have wronged you, releasing them into God’s care. If reconciliation is possible, seek wisdom and discernment before taking steps forward. If it is not, rest in the freedom that forgiveness brings, knowing that obedience to Christ always leads us toward life and growth.
